Not man flu so it must be Zika Virus

My ShoutFROM the outset we will declare that we haven’t contracted the man flu.

It is true that this correspondent has been struggling health-wise for a couple of weeks. Stoic to the end, we don’t complain. Wejust struggleon, typically working a 12 hour shift here before heading off to assist the poor and needy in the community. Even a deathly cough hasn’t slowed our momentum. A deathly cough yes. Man flu no.Butif we’re not suffering from the flu –man or otherwise, then what malady is causing our life some considerable discomfort?Obviously we needed some expert advice here. So we went straight to someone eminently qualified in all matters of health and well being. A publican, for they more than most want to keep their valued customers on earth and preferably in thepublic bar.

“You still sick,’’ a mine host asked as we barked our way into his establishment the other day.

“You must have the flu.’’

“No,’’ we bravely replied.“Don’t know what it is, but it’s not the flu –man or otherwise.’’

Hepondered this momentarily before coming up with his diagnosis.

“Obviously it’s the Zika Virus,’’ he said before wandering off to do the all-important schooner draw.

For those unaware the Zika Virus is spread to people primarily through the bite of an infected Aedes species mosquito. We’re not sure how many cases have been reported in Australia, but we’ve always been a trail blazer in this sort of thing. Why, we’re sure we contracted thebubonic plague a couple of years back after reading up about the disease. We were waking up each Saturday morning with a headache and complete memory loss from the night before, so it couldn’t have been anything else but the bubonic plague. It’s highly contagious as well, for most of our drinking mates were also suffering from the same problem. Fortunately there wasno reported loss of life.

Back to the Zika Virus and it’s well known that Struggle Street is a breeding ground for Zika Virus-spreading mosquitoes. Why, we recall being attacked by a swarm of them just before our health rapidly declined.

The publican/GP returned to his seat as soon as he completed his rounds –or at least bought a round. He had a mixed reportfor this now worried correspondent.

“There’s no known cure for the Zika Virus,’’ he said, gravely.

“And you’ll break out into a sweat, suffer depression and have wild mood swings –just like when the Roosters lose.’’

“Any good news?’’ we wheezed.

He nodded: “Tooheys New –and vast quantities of it –canslow down the virus’s ravages.’’

We’ve never been fond of taking medicine but we’ll make an exception. For thisis a matter of life or death.

This story Administrator ready to work first appeared on 苏州美甲美睫培训学校.

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